When Do You Get Old Enough?

We lost a dear family member last week.  It was horrible and hard and is still so sad.  And while I have loads to say, remember, laugh about...that is not what this blog is about.

We were all back in Laverne last week to attend the funeral, grieve together, just be there.  I have been away from Laverne for 14 years now.  And while I knew every face and had many friends there, there are some things you forget about a small town.  We all spent the days together at my Meme's and there was a steady stream of traffic...friends, family, community members...just people who heard what happened, knew we were hurting, and showed up (or called or texted or sent flowers or cards or emails). 

As my sweet cousin Lori and I were having our fourth dessert one day (because it was there), she commented "Are we old enough that we should do this for other people when they lose someone?".  And it got me to thinking.  I think we are old enough.  I think when you get old enough to appreciate the food and paper goods and stamps and phone calls that don't fix anything, but do somehow help, then you're old enough to pass that on.

I had never experienced or understood the idea of a "wake" (we're not catholic, so I don't know what it's called when you spend 3-4 days together as a family...eating, talking, just hanging out.)  My excuse had always been 1) I don't know what to say 2) a casserole won't really make it better 3) they probably have so much food, they don't need anything 4) I didn't really know the person who died that well, etc.  I rarely shop the sympathy card section.  And, somewhere in the back of my mind was Lori's point...I don't think I'm old enough yet.  It's not my generations responsibility yet.

But here's what I learned last week:
1) No body knows what to say, and that's not the point.  Just acknowledge that something sad happened and that you're hurting with them.
2) Food doesn't fix anything, but it does somehow help.  We ate every meal together for 4 days and never had to go to the grocery store.  That's huge...'cause nobody wanted to go to the grocery store.
3) There was so much food, NEED was not the point.  Maybe it was just nice to see the person who came by, maybe it spurred a conversation about that person (after they left) about the connection to Papa (old work stories, or hunting buddies, etc).
4) If we (my generation) doesn't learn how, it'll stop with us...and it can't stop.

So, I guess this is my big thank you to the town of Laverne...For being one of those rare things that is actually better in real life than in my memory.

Love,

Erin

For the Love of Corn

The girls had corn on the cob for the first time last night.  Love is not too strong of a word! 

Lauren was IN from the start...she had two pieces and loved every bite.

Kate was slow to warm, and then fell hard.  She finished one piece and then would not let us pry it out of her little hands.  She wanted down from her high chair, but wanted to hold on to her cob.  She wanted to sit on our laps, but wanted to hold on to her cob.  She wanted to talk on the phone, play with toys, have some grapes for dessert, but wanted to hold on to her cob.  When Daddy finally got it out of her hands, it was ugly.

Overall, I'd say corn on the cob was a hit!

We also played beauty shop yesterday.  What big girls!  Lauren's pig tails lasted about 3 minutes, but Kate left her clip in for most of the day.  I think Kate knows her hair needs a little something.  Poor baby got her momma's hair...

Forgive Dan's eyes.  It was very hard to get a good pic of the 'do's!

Love,

Momma

Wednesday Musings.

*When running errands with two babies, add time and a half to everything.  Think it'll take you 10 minutes to get out of the house?  Make that 25.  It's been 15 months, you'd think I'd embrace this by now...nope, shocked every time.

*When preparing to play dodge ball, wear protective head gear.

*When things aren't going your way, don't try to hide your emotions.

*When picking out your favorite things, let your heart lead you...not public opinion.

See how sweet and pretty all these potential babies are???

See how ugly this guy is?

Just try to convince this one of that!!  Dare ya!

*When trying to take candid pictures of 15 month olds, be prepared to be swarmed like you are a hunk of red meat and they are piranhas.

And yes, Momma needs to make a trip to the beauty shop!

Ta, Ta for Now,

Momma

Baby Three

“I am your mother, the first mile of your road. Me and all my obvious and hidden limitations. That means that in addition to possibly wrecking you, I have the chance to give to you what was given to me: a decent childhood, more good memories than bad, some values, a sense of tribe, a run at happiness. You can’t imagine how seriously I take that – even as I fail you. Mothering you is the first thing of consequence that I have ever done.”
— Kelly Corrigan (Lift)

I found that quote on Pioneer Woman's blog a month or so ago, and it gets me every time I read it. 

I don't know what it is about being pregnant that makes a girl who has never before been an emotional person sappy.  Yip, I said it...I'm not just a little more in touch with my emotions, I'm not just a little hormonal, I'm not just more womanly than before...I'm straight up sappy.

While we are not ready to say definitely, this pregnancy could be my last...some would even argue that it should be.  I think what gets me the most about that fact is the brevity of this season of my life.  Only two years ago this month I was as depressed as I get, certain that I would never be able to conceive.  And now, the pregnancy, birth, recovery, new born baby stage of my life as a mother may be almost over?!  It's hard for me to even wrap my mind around.

There are some definite differences with this pregnancy.  The most obvious is that I don't weigh as much!  On this, my 26th week of pregnancy, I'm not nearly as big as I was last time around.  I don't have to go to the doctor nearly as frequently (praise Jesus).  I physically feel better.  I can breathe even when lying down still.  I don't have charley horses or heartburn.  The only physical complaint of this pregnancy would be frequent headaches.

Mentally, I'm not as scared as I was last time.  I was fearful for most of the pregnancy with the babes, not so this time.  I am under no false pretenses that we will be any more prepared, I simply realize that there is nothing you can do to prepare, and try to embrace that.

I do think about how the dynamics of our little family will change.  Will the girls be better able to embrace another human into our tribe since they've always had to share?  Or do they function as a unit and our divided attention between the two of them is more acceptable than the divided attention to come?

All that rambling to say that I love being pregnant.  I love this little bean growing inside of me.  And I love being a Momma...even when it makes me sappy. 

-E

The Happiest Sickness

My bestie and her baby got to come play last weekend!!  They arrived on Friday night and were to play all day Saturday and Sunday and then leave early Monday morning.  We had a blast over the weekend!  We went to the park, we played with all the toys in this house, we compared words and signs, and just generally got to hang out!

Then Monday morning came and we sadly headed to the airport.  Kendall was a little whiny in the car on the way to the airport, but we chalked it up to an early morning and change in normal routine.  Amanda had to do diaper maintenance in the car as we dropped them off, and then we left them.  I got a call about an hour later from a none-to-happy momma in the airport bathroom with a sick little boy.  I'll spare you the details, but his tummy hurt.

The girls and I loaded back up and went to pick them up...and then they got to stay until Wednesday morning!!!!  (He was still sick Tuesday morning and it was just more than either of us could imagine to attempt to fly with a baby with tummy troubles.) 

We didn't do a thing, and it was awesome!!  Between three babies, two different nap and food schedules, and the tummy bug, we stayed close to home and in our comfy clothes!!  It was the longest the two of us had gotten to hang out since B.C. (before children) and maybe even longer than that.  It's never good when a baby is sick, but since it was never severe and fairly short lived...it was the happiest little sickness ever!

Oh, and by the way, I'm calling the dynamics to their relationship now - Kendall and Lauren will get into all kinds of trouble together through the years, and Kate will have done her best to boss them into her plan or else just ignore their shenanigans.  Presh.

Love,
Momma/AuntE

Twinnies

Sidebar:  You know how my new year's resolution was to be more intentional?  An example of how I'm still a work in progress:  I needed to post a blog, I had one in mind, I had two sleeping babies and most of my chores done for the day, BUT it's 2:00 and a Friends re-run just came on.  I had to force myself to sit down and do a blog.  What is wrong with me!?!!  I have seen EVERY Friends episode out there, I will not be surprised...it's a sickness.

OK, twins.

I don't know that I speak of things 'twin' very often in this blog.  Sure, everything I do talk about is in plural, but rarely do I talk about the twin interaction I get to witness.  I think it's because I have never had it any other way, so I fail to recognize the uniqueness of raising twins.  Maybe someday I'll go back and touch on the miracle that was the pregnancy, how different one baby feels in my belly compared to two, or the challenges and exhaustion of the newborn stage...but right now, this is what twin looks like at our house.

*When looking at a picture of the two of them together, each babe points to themselves in the picture.  When Lauren is looking at it, she points to Lauren and giggles.  When Kate is looking, she points to Kate.  Coincidence?  Maybe.  But it happens without fail enough to make me think...something.

*At times or rest (seemingly NEVER!) they assume the same position.  When eating, I'll notice that they both have their right foot wedged up under the tray and are swinging the left.  Or at nap time they will both lay on their right side with their left arm straight out.  Again, maybe a coincidence, but stinkin' cute.  And creepily consistent.

*They rarely head for the same toy or area of the room at the same time unless coaxed by a "Come here and play with this", but without fail within 3-4 minutes they end up together, doing the same thing.  I wanna know how they decide who's doing the coolest thing....

*They've started taking care of each other.  If Kate is crying, Lauren brings her a pacifier.  If Lauren is crying, Kate pats her on the back (Kate never does something as crazy as give up a pacifier. Never.)

*And remember how I said they were both sleeping.  Lie.  As I type I can hear squeals and giggles.  They keep each other company...and keep each other up.  My favorite moment of day is in the morning.  I'm laying in my bed, they are right around the corner in their room.  I hear one wake up and make some cute baby noises.  And if I'm patient (or tired and lazy) and leave them alone for a while, they usually chat and play and giggle for about 10 minutes before they start barking for me to come get them.  I always feel a little left out of the party, but what sweet noises.

I'm going to go break up the party and lay them back down.  I bet you 10 to 1 Kate has both pacifiers and is sitting back just far enough from the shared side of the crib that Lauren can't reach hers.  It's all fun and games until...

With Love,
Momma

P.S. On proof reading it seems I paint a very rosy picture.  They also hit each other with books.  They push each other down if one is "winning" on the way to a different toy.  They cry when they don't get their way and have to share.  Just so you don't get the wrong idea.