Did you take Home Economics in high school? 'Twas my favorite class! There were sewing projects, and cooking assignments. We did household budgets and grocery shopping. We even had to care for a computerized infant that cried for no good reason in the middle of the night. I hope this program still exists. I wish it was required attendance for every human being.
I had a great teacher. Mrs. Mills was the right mix of business and fun. We got things done, and had a good time. She did her BEST to prepare us for our possible roles are parents and spouses.
More and more the thought crosses my mind..."Even Mrs. Mills could not have prepared me for this!".
I hope you can relate. Lie and tell me you can, even if you can't.
Things I never thought I would say:
"You have to at least put on panties at the dinner table."
"If you're going to play in the toilet, flush it first!!"
"Quit licking her hair!"
"Jack, where is your diaper!?"
"Get your hand out of my shirt. Get your hand out of my shirt. GET YOUR HAND OUT OF MY SHIRT!"
"Here, just wipe it (nose, hands, face) on my pants."
"Quit eating your boogers...just pick it, then wipe it somewhere...eating it is gross."
Things I never thought I would do:
Open food while still in the store to hand out as snacks to buy myself time.
Have two year olds babysit my one year old: While I'm in the shower: "Kate, where's Jack?" "Is he happy?" "Is he making noises?" "Is he moving?"
Strap them in their car seats and watch movies in the car. While still in the garage. Just because a change of scenery fixed it.
Just putting it out there.
Thanks for trying, Mrs. Mills,