It turns out that I might be an acquired taste. Bummer.
Part of my Super-Fun-All-The-Time-2013-Year-Of-Thrival plan is to make new friends. New town, new job, new season of life...new friends!
I've become almost obsessed with this. I look at every passerby and run them through the 'could she be my come over with her kids while my house is a mess have coffee and watch them play' friend? Could she be my 'Bible study' friend? Could she be my 'shopping, ladies who lunch' friend?
After the obsession of recognizing these people to fill my needs, then there's the dilemma of how to convince them to be my friend...this is where, I'm afraid, I have found that I'm an acquired taste. I have friends. I know I can make friends. But, well, maybe, sometimes....I may come on a little too strong, a little too fast. Oh, my bad, new girl I met in the park 4 minutes ago...you mean you're not quite ready to go on a double date and share a babysitter at my house. Silly me. You mean you don't like it when I ask very direct and personal questions in our casual, first time, chance meeting. Oops.
I'm afraid my crazy 'too much too fast' style has been reinforced in the past, giving me an erred sense of appropriateness. Well, except for that still painful memory when it didn't work out for me!
First meeting with Dan in Albuquerque 100 years ago. 'So, ever been married? Kids? Plan to get married someday? Christian?' Sweet, now man of mine, simply chuckled, said, 'Wow, you get to the point, huh?' And answered my questions. Then said, 'What was your name, again?'. Behavior reinforced.
Albuquerque bestie. Then a patient I had seen maybe twice, but was hoping to convert to a friend. I was pregnant. 'So, is labor just horrible? Did you poop when you pushed out the baby? Are your boobs always that big or is it just because you're breast feeding?' Sweet, now ABQ bestie of mine, simply snickered, said, 'You have no idea...want to go have lunch sometime?'. Crazy behavior reinforced.
I have been wallowing in my realization that maybe this making of friends thing is going to take longer than I thought. I have a very ain't nobody got time for that attitude about it. I am anxious to make some friends. I think it will help me to feel more settled. Dan meets new people everyday, and doesn't really get it. But somehow spending most days in our rent house that I can't really make a home ('cause who paints someone else's walls!?) with three kidlets two and under, makes me oh so anxious to meet a kindred spirit.
As I have been wallowing, though, I have come to realize that while they can't drop in on a random Tuesday morning and physically have coffee, I have all these roles filled in my life. They live in California instead of Edmond, or work a 40 hour work week, or are in a different (and so fun!) stage of life...
Being reminded of that recurring lesson - patience is a virtue.