I've been thinking about this season of my life. What it means to be a stay at home mom. Who I am to these two little girls and will be to this man child soon to come. Here's some of my ramblings:
My world is very small right now. There was a time when I always had a plane ticket waiting on me...when I knew where my passport was and how to use it...when I knew and communicated often with many different people. Not so much anymore. My world is small. It is mostly confined to this sweet, little house. Sometimes, to the northwest quadrant of this city. The players in my life are predominately Dan and the girls. Sure, I talk on the phone to family and friends, but sometimes even that is awkward because I know so little other than what happens in my living room. I watch the news (sometimes) but would be hard pressed to sound very intelligent discussing the upcoming elections or the state of the world's economy. And it just the way I like it.
I never use an alarm clock anymore. The reason is two fold: 1) I never have to be anywhere very early. 2) My human alarm clocks are consistent to within a half hour. And it's just the way I like it.
I can/have gained and lost (will lose) 25-40 pounds independent of a gym membership or Weight Watchers. Unheard of in my previous life. And it's just the way I like it.
The definition of sexy has changed from something that required lots of time and a little money to just recently showered. And it's just the way I like it.
A closet full of super high and pointed toed shoes used to be necessary to my completing an outfit. Now, Old Navy flip flops and a pair of tennis shoes are completing the task. And it's just the way I like it.
Modesty and body image have new definitions now as well. I have two on-lookers to most moments throughout the day. And not only do they need to know the name of every body part, they do not sensor their little facial expressions when something is not necessarily pretty! And it's just the way I like it.
I used to contribute to the community at large with some skills and abilities. Now, I contribute to two little ladies. My specialized skill set is now being able to determine who is crying, where, and usually, for what reason. I can sense that magical moment right before an all out belly laugh is about to become a cry. And it's just the way I like it.
It's just a season. It'll change faster than I can see coming, and maybe even sooner than I'd like. We'll be on to the next season, with new challenges and new blessings. But, for right now, everything is just the way I like it.
Love,
Momma
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